Since you have the chance to be a parent, you always enjoy the time your child spends with their grandparents. Whether it’s your parents or your partners parents – they’re always happy to spend see their grandchild.
While this great, and you do love the time and attention they give your child there is always the worry that they are spoilling child. We know how grand-parents are: they give your child everything they want, toys, candy, money…they’re so happy to have the opportunity to be with the child that they can sometimes take it too far.
At first you’re excited and touched by the fact your parents or your partners parents want to spoil your child. As time passes, the child may think this is normal behaviour and you might begin to worry they’re not understanding the value of their relationship with their grandparents.
To help avoid this problem, it’s always good to have a discussion with the grandparents about your parenting style, and how you want your child to see their child-grandparent relationship.
Redefining the roles
It’s undeniable that grandparents have the best role of all- they don’t have all the constraints and rules of raising your child, they just get the quality time. Remember that even though these are moments of “fun” or leisure, grandparents help educate your child too.
But, it’s important that your child learns that not every adult is going to give them what they want, when they want. This is a behaviour you want to avoid.
It’s normal that grandparents want to spoil their grandchildren, but it should be within reason! Let them know that all these gifts make you uncomfortable, and you don’t want your child abusing their generosity.
In addition, too much spoiling can affect your childs behaviour with other people and the values you want them to learn. For example: If you ask your child to finish their dinner at the table, but the grandparents let them eat and leave when they want, you might run into trouble in restoring the behaviour you want your child to learn and use.
Time spent without gifts
Suggest to the grandparents that instead of buying your child gifts try to put that money towards “family time activities”. Go eat at a resturant or bring the kids to the park for ice cream. There are many different ways grandparents and grandkids could spend time together without going to the mall and buying toys.
Finally, grandparents are always so happy to see their grandchildren and will want to spend as much time with them as possible. To them, time is more valuable than the latest toy at the toy store.